April 2013 Blog Chain

I thought it would be fun to participate in this month's blog chain at Absolute Write  .  The topic of the month is April Fools.  I had a blast writing, and can't wait to do it again. 

So.....Here's my story:

***

Lindsay adjusted the prosthetic baby bump, tugging at the Velcro straps that were chaffing her back. Putting it on before leaving wasn’t the brightest decision she’d ever made. She could have stopped somewhere close to her parents house to do it. It would have been smarter than driving four hours in a hot car.

She’d dealt with her fair share of criticism from her family over the years. If it wasn’t one thing it was another. In their eyes, she was doomed to be a failure regardless of what choices she made in life.

"Majoring in art is foolish," her father would tell her. She couldn’t count how many times she’d heard him say, "Art is not a career, it’s a hobby. Slopping paint on a canvas will not pay the bills. Why can’t you go to nursing school like your cousin Allison?"

Nevermind the fact that blood totally grossed her out. God forbid she cut her legs shaving in the shower. If the sight of blood wasn’t bad enough, add water to it. It thinned out, making a tiny drop seem like a gallon. Just the thought made her cringe.

It wasn’t just her father who was on her case all of the time, her mother was no better. Every guy she’d ever brought home was a "street punk". It didn’t matter if they belonged to an affluent family, or she actually did find them in the ghetto. Nothing she ever did was right.

So, Lindsay decided it was time to show them how bad things really could  be. If her plan worked the way she hoped it would, maybe they would change their tune. It couldn’t possibly make it worse, she knew that much.

As she pulled up to their picture perfect three-story Tudor, the first hint of nervousness twisted in her gut. It was not the time to be nervous. She took a moment or two to brace herself, breathing deeply before she exited the car.

No one rushed out to greet her with open arms. No doubt they’d rush out for Allison, the perfect one, the daughter they wish they had. With her back straight and a determined face, Lindsay marched up the flagstone steps to the front door.

Not bothering to ring the bell, she walked right into the foyer with its cheery yellow walls. It was her childhood home after all, she shouldn’t need to be invited in. Knowing exactly where her parents would be, Lindsay made a beeline for the kitchen, cutting straight through the dining room.

As usual her father was sitting at the small table with a newspaper in hand and a steaming cup of coffee at his side. Her mother was busy at her mixer whipping up some confection or other for whatever bake sale she’d volunteered for that week.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad," Lindsay shouted her enthusiastic greeting.

Her father lowered his paper and her mom turned around, their movements almost simultaneous. Both wore pleasant expressions until their eyes eventually zeroed in on the obvious roundness of Lindsay’s abdomen. There was no mistaking it as the unfortunate result of eating too many cupcakes.

Lindsay first glanced at her mother, noticing the way her lips puckered and twisted like she’d been sucking on a lemon wedge. That was nothing compared to the death glare her father was giving her.

"Christ, Lindsay, what damn mess have you gotten yourself into now?" His voice was rough and demanding.

"What? I thought you’d be excited. You’ve always talked about having grandbabies to spoil rotten. So...I decided to give you one," Allison replied with a sweet smile.

"Are you telling me that this was intentional?" His fury intensified. "What the hell is wrong with you? Who’s the deadbeat that knocked you up?"

"Of course it was intentional. There’s no deadbeat, Daddy. I tried with about a dozen different guys, but nothing took. It was really wearing me out, so I decided to go the artificial route. Do you know how easy it is to get some little swimmers from the sperm back? The doctors just shoot it up in there, you wait around a couple weeks, and voila," she gestured at her baby bump.

"Now, how exactly are you planning on taking care of this child? That’s what I really want to know," her father continued with the raised voice and dagger shooting.

"Oh, that’s easy. I have it all planned out." Lindsay looked from her father to her mother with a big grin on her face. "I’m obviously going to have to drop out of school. I’ll move back home with you. I figured once the baby is in kindergarten I could get a part time job at the Quik Mart. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?"

Her father’s face turned a bright shade of red and she swore she could see the steam coming out of his ears. Her mother stood as still as a statue with the  rubber spatula still in her hand, as every last bit of color drained from her face.

"Did you really think that we’d...we’d...just support this," he stuttered. "You’ve done some stupid things, but this...this..."

"APRIL FOOLS!"

The moment the words left her mouth, a terrible crash sounded. Lindsay jerked her head to the right to find her mother sprawled across the kitchen floor, out cold, frosting splattered everywhere.

Her plan had worked!

***

 

Check out the posts from the other participants:
Participants and posts:
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to post)
Angyl78 - http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Araenvo - http://www.simonpclark.com/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes - http://www.taraquan.com/ (link to post)
Lady Cat - http://randomwriterlythoughts.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
Lyra Jean - http://beyondtourism.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Sudo_One - http://sudoone.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
articshark - http://www.drslaten.com/blog (link to post)
Ghostwriter-Mom - http://www.fictionblueprints.com/ (link to post)
AngelaGreenfield - http://www.becomingawriterblog.com/ (link to post)

Bumped:Bloo - http://www.emergencyroomproductions.net/ (link to post)
in_one - http://quirkythomas.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
egoodlett - http://ellengoodlett.com/blog/ (link to post)








　

　

Cover image fun!

I'm having a moment of writers block.  Not a bad one though.  I'm starting a new chapter and I'm just not sure how I want it to go.  I know what comes a couple chapters ahead, just not the material in between.  Mostly, I just don't want to rush it trying to get to the scene I want to get to.  Not sure if that makes any sense.

So to keep me from stressing, I decided to have some fun browsing stock images for cover ideas.  I figured it would be a very intensive, time consuming process.  I got lucky.  I found the perfect image!!!!

 I sent it immediately over to my designer.  I'm not sure if he'll use that exact image or just use it for reference.  Either way, I'm so excited to see what he comes up with.  I just may have my cover before the book is half finished.  To me, that is quite an accomplishment.  It just makes this all seem more real.

I'm so excited!

  

Dear Spring, Where are you hiding?

It's April 3rd, and currently 30 degrees out right now in PA.  The weather reports say that it's going to warm up this weekend, and I pray that it does....and stays that way.  If I have to put my winter coat on one more time, I swear I'll puke.

So, during this never ending hibernation I think I've read even more lately.  It's hard for me to write when I can't seem to ever put a book down long enough.  I am making good progress somehow, considering. 

Here's some of what I've been reading lately:

Better Off Dead by H.P. Mallory

The first book in the Lily Harper series

***If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it.

Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be.

First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily’s death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees,) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will have to become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch.

Second, there’s angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn’t enough, Lily’s guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante’s Inferno and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily’s future isn’t looking bright.

Finally, there’s the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn’t trust Tallis, but she also can’t deny her attraction to him.

Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what’s in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would’ve just been better off dead.***

Let me start by saying, I'm a huge fan of H.P. Mallory.  She's actually one of my biggest inspirations for taking on this writing endeavor. 

This book is much different than her Jolie Wilkins, and Dulcie O'Neil series (both excellent by the way), but still in the paranormal romance genre. 

The character of Bill is downright hilarious.  He's so crude, fitting in with my personality and sense of humor.  I made the mistake of starting the book at night with a sleeping husband beside me.  It was all I could do to not laugh out loud.  My silent chuckles did shake the bed causing him to stir a few times, thankfully never waking him.

Oh...and Tallis.  Can we say "YUM"!!!  He's sexy and mysterious...I love it!  I'm a big sucker for Scottish Highlander romance novels.  There's just something about the setting, the kilts, and of course the accent.  This book is set in present times so it gives you the perfect blend of ancient Scottish warrior and a modern feel. 

I can't wait for the second book.  This one didn't leave off with as much of a cliffhanger, like H.P. is famous for.  But it leaves off making you wonder "what's next?".  If you enjoy a good story, and laughing your ass off, I suggest you buy it.

The evolution of a bibliophile

And so the journey begins...

I have been obsessed with books for as long as I can remember, only recently acknowledging that I am indeed a bibliophile.  I will read everything, not only any book placed within my reach.  I've been known to read  the backs of shampoo bottles while on the toilet, as well as any product within arms length. 

Obsession?  No doubt.

Inspiration?  Indeed.

With the changes in technology, a vast array of books are so easily within our grasp.  No more driving to the bookstore, spending hours browsing the shelves.  Anything you could imagine is right at your fingertips as the popularity of ebooks increases.  Don't get me wrong, I still love the feel of an actual book in my hand, but it's just not feasible with my obsession. Not unless I want to drown my poor husband and children in a sea of books, not finding them for weeks!

With the rise of digital books, publishing is easier than ever.  Let's face it, some of the best authors out there are self-published.  It leaves me shaking my head at traditional publishing companies.  How they could overlook such works of genius?  Do they even know what the population is looking for in a good book?
 
If everyone else can do it, why can't I?

I've always been the imaginative sort.  Whether it be my art, or writing poetry and short stories for fun.  I just never considered trying to do something with it.  But after seeing the success of so many self-published authors, I got to thinking.  What is the use of maintaining this hobby if I can't share it with others?  But now I can!

I've began writing my first book!  I won't fool myself into believing that it will be the literary work of the century.  If I can share it with the world and a handful of people enjoy it, I will consider that a success.  It's a learning experience, and will hopefully strengthen my writing as time progresses.  So far I am pleased with how it is coming along.  The hardest part for me is to not rush it.  I'm so anxious to publish it, but I'm trying hard to take my time.

The book's title is Ivy Entwined.  I guess it would be considered a romance.  I won't give too many hints about it just yet.  I'm hoping to publish it sometime early this summer, maybe sooner.  Stay tuned...